I stopped reading for a long time. In between 2012 and 2013 I can honestly say I didn’t pick up a single book to read for pleasure. The only books I read were University texts for my dissertation or some other written assignment and at the end of last year i somehow fell back in love with curling up with a good book and a warm mug of coffee. I was looking for coats in a charity shop back in October last year and saw some books on a ‘four for £1’ offer and i guess the rest was history. Now every morning on my commute to work and on my way home I sit quietly, oblivious the hustle and bustle of serious looking suit wearer’s and briefcase holders and i block out the crying voices of children and angry mothers trying to get their kids to school whilst i while away the time with my nose buried in a new book. I’m aiming for one a week so i can exceed my goodreads target of 30 books this year and get acquainted with all sorts of books from fiction to non fiction, adventure to feminism. ALL THE BOOKS I can get my fingers essentially.
I’ve mostly been reading so much because I’ve felt microscopic and quite alone lately, and I know i’ve been trying (believe me i really have) to feel better but it’s so hard to even want to wake up some mornings, particularly the weekends when i don’t have to be at work. Monday to Friday I can function pretty well as I have a responsibility to be somewhere and get things done and I almost welcome extra hours of work because it means i can busy myself and not think, and that makes things a little easier. The weekends are hard though. Very hard. On friday nights i just buy myself some sushi, maybe another book, come home to a quiet bedroom and a very old teddy bear that is always happy to see me. I hate using the ‘D-word’ but reading has really helped with said D-Word. Because i’m lost in a mass of swirling words and someone else’s thoughts, it means i don’t have time to think too much of my own and allow my own grey cloud of sharp words to overwhelm and consume me.
I’m onto my second book of the week after finishing “The Fault in Our Stars” yesterday. I want to write a lot about it but i’m still sort’ve processing it and i’m contemplating reading it again because some books are just so heart-achingly sad that you need to make sure of it you know? The book has inspired me to be a little kinder and not take life or anything for granted so I’m trying to do nice things for others, like giving up my seat on the train to work, or paying for someone’s morning coffee. Try it yourself! You can even just call or text someone who you know is suffering from one thing or the other. We shouldn’t let each other feel so alone, because we might just be the person to pull another back from the brink. Enough sad rambling for one night, it’s March, a new month and a clean slate so let’s make it a good one. Plus i am a firm believer of things happening (or not happening) for very good reasons that we’ll look back on one day.
Something to think about this week, and as always I hope it’s a wonderful for each and every one of us. Much love, and much light. (PS recommend me some of your favourite books!)
x
I'm sorry to hear you're sad right now, I'm glad the books are helping. I've always been a huge bookworm but I too went through a period of not reading as a teen. Thankfully I'm back at it now! Some suggestions would be Memoirs of a Geisha, Little Bee, Running with Scissors, The Perks of being a Wallflower, Junk…the list goes on! I'm just about to start The First Bad Man by Miranda July which Stylist mag has called the next cult read…exciting!Shanika ~ shanika-says.blogspot.co.uk
Thanks Shanika 🙂 The Perks of Being a Wallflower is AMAZING! I absolutely loved it, but i didn't like the ending. Thanks for the recommendations!x
The perks of being a wallflower is really amazing and someone can tell me the link to show The perks of being a wallflower? pls message me on fb
I know exactly how you feel and I have been wanting to write about it for so long but haven't been sure of what to write. I've never really thought about books making me feel better so I will have to try this out. Really sorry you feel so sad at the moment though. But hey! Spring is fast approaching and that is always something to smile about :)Ashleigh | Being Ashleigh blog
Seriously cant express how much I can relate to this post. Thank you for being so honest that really is brave. I dont think you should shy away from using the D-word, I would be lying if I said I have never experienced depression and still do have moments of sadness that are overwhelming and do keep me in bed longer than I would like on the weekends. Something my mum suggested was having an aim or action to do on the weekends. Sure were active on during the week because we have a focus but the weekends are totally up to us. For me the mundane routine of work mon-fri makes me feel I deserve to stay in bed a lil longer lol but I always end up feeling guilty so I am going to try and find a class I can take to keep me motivated and sociable. Alone time is great I enjoy my own company too but dont forget to get yourself out there Sade. You have such a beautiful heart that shines through your blog, you need to share that with the world too! 🙂 ps: The Fault in Our Stars left me crying like a baby and yet wonderfully happy such a strange feeling and at times disappointing its not a true story, I would like an Augustus Walters in my life lol – amazing book.
I can really relate to you right now Sade. I'm not sure if it's just the time of the year for me but like you said, it's March, time for a new start. I'm definitely looking to get reading again and really want to read The Fault in Our Stars so would love to know what you think of it x
could relate to everything you've written, I just wish I could be more dedicated, thanks for opening up gafashion.blogspot.com
I love this post so much. The Isle of Youth by Laura van den Berg is a good read.http://www.theartofvintagerevival.com
I really can't stress enough how much I can relate to this post or how much this is me right now. I started reading Maya Angelou's biographies lately, currently on 'Gather together in my name'. It distracts me from my aloneness (if there's such a word) because I'm sort of living her life thorough her books and mine doesn't seem so bad during that time. Thank you for being so honest about this because as you can see there are other people that feel the same way as you, so we can all be alone together for now and try to help each other by being there for each other, even though it's through the internet :).Bisola x
All these books have central characters who make you ache and immediately miss them when you flip over the last page:The Rosie Project by (by Graeme Simsion) Don Tillman is just so endearingly charming you’ll wish you knew him personally. This book fully champions the socially inept and awkward. It will make you laugh and cry and I loved it.High Fidelity (by Nick Hornby) One for lovers of music, this is an old one, but I’ve only recently read this. Eleanor and Park and Attachments (both by Rainbow Rowell) All of the characters are so well crafted and emotions so beautifully described, I hope you’ll find lots to relate to in both.x
oh, and I know this is a post about books but if you haven’t seen the film liberal arts, (a quick summary – all about growing up, the lost art of letter writing and good books) I highly recommend it. x
Sorry to hear your feeling low chick, I think reading is a great thing to absorb yourself in forget about your own life and live someone's else's for a while. Feel better. Oh and recommendations, anything by John Irving, word according to garp in particular or Maggie on'farrell but she can be a bit sad so maybe when your felling betterLaurenlivinginaboxx
Sorry to hear you're feeling like this Sade! It's definitely not the best feeling in the world and, after going through similar things a couple of times before, I know that it can be really hard to cope with or get out of but I really really hope these feelings don't last long for you. Reading is such a great help and it's so good to get lost in a good book! Some of my favourite reads have been The Perks of Being a Wallflower, If You Could See Me Now & Where Rainbows End (both by cecilia ahern) and The Kite Runner & A Thousand Splendid Suns (both by Khaled Housseini). Saadiya xxx
Not nice to hear that you've been feeling alone – a book is always a great way to get some personal pleasure. I haven't read in ages – not for pleasure anyway and I need to because I find watching trash TV or surfing the web isn't as constructive like a great book!Ps. Shanika's Running with Scissors recommendation is a wicked book!www.virgosandkisses.com
Your blog amazing! I do really like it! You did a great job! I’ll be happy to hear you opinion about my blog!)Diana Cloudlethttp://www.dianacloudlet.com/
Hi Sade,Your post inspired me to write something which may or may not even get published. However, I'm just asking permission to reference your post and use hyperlinks to this post on another blog if it gets published.
Hello! Yes of course (as long as it's nothing explicit or derogatory in any form!) please do e-mail me a link if you so wish, i'd love to have a read :)x
Hey! I know exactly how you feel and as much as I don't like using that word, I feel it sometimes and the loneliness too. I don't know what to say to make you feel better or what will always work, but I can only assure you that you are never alone. So when you start feeling that way, remember that and keep watching your movie or reading your book.
The bluest eye by Toni Morrison is my fav read it ten times. You won't be disappointed. Check his video out of Nikisha of urbanbushbabes blog https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJ_gpgD3Tvg talking about how she delay with depression hope it helps love.
My favourite book is Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie! Such an inspirational and witty book. Talks a lot about being race and being a woman! Also, read the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho – another one of my top books! It's quite a short book but read it twice with a break in between. It will help you have a new outlook on life. That book has honestly changed my life and outlook. It helped me through the darkest period of my life 🙂 hope you feel better soon x